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Monday, 30 September 2019

Consensus

CONSENSUS...a general agreement.

The consensus amongst the bloggers who commented on my last post 'Money Saving Expert' was that being Frugal for Frugals sake is definitely a no, no.  The vast majority of people owned up to being frugal at times to achieve goals.  Being frugal generally means your yearly spend is below the average. Most people spend those savings on extra holiday, treats, paying off their mortgage etc. Being frugal and being mean are not the same thing. However,  to some people the two are the same thing and this can lead to a misconception.  Frugal people search out the best prices, they hate waste and are generally very resourceful. 



Kirrie who commented on the last blog mentioned how she had been frugal to pay off  her mortgage 11 years early and was just about to retire at 55. All the frugal tweaks she made to her life has meant she will soon fulfil a dream of working in Kefalonia as a volunteer helping baby turtles and rescuing  eggs. WOW....Incredible, wishing you all the best. 
She also mentions being asked for financial advice but the person was unwilling to make the changes necessary, finding life impossible without regular beauty treatments,  expensive TV packages or grocery shopping at M&S or Waitrose.  

Earlier this year and for the very first time in my life I was called a penny pinching so and so by a 'friend'. They were really nasty and I believe this was because I wasn't agreeing with their every word about what I should be doing with my life but more importantly my money! I'm not mean, I always pay my way when I'm out with friends and we've treated our children and their families to thousands of pounds worth of holidays and treats. I have financial security whereas the 'friend' wastes money every day and will need to work until they are 66. But I wouldn't dream of commenting on their lifestyle  because I understand  its personal choice.  

Talking of consensus,  hubby and I have spoken at length  since his return from holiday. He doesn't want to move abroad or  separate. We aren't out of the water yet but the consensus is moving slowly in the right direction. Bye for now. Tx

32 comments:

  1. Oh Tania, I'm so glad that you're hubby has finally seen the light. Moving abroad has been wonderful, but I'm talking about ME and my experience, as someone who knew I was going to leave the UK from right when I was a kid. BUT doing that when you're older nd don't speak the language because "it's sunnier/cheaper over there" is often a hiding to nothing. You can end up miserable and isolated. As you say, you're not out of the woods yet but it is a very positive step forwards - and seemingly he did it all on his own! I'm so happy for you!

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    1. Thank you Anna, yes all by himself. It had to be his decision as I'm a believer in what will be will be.

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  2. A fantastic post script, I'm very glad and hope the woods clear quickly into sunshine.
    xx

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    1. Thank you Joy, I've been listening to everything he had to say. There's been no coercion, just a personal revelation.

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  3. I didn't read Kirrie's comment but what a fantastic achievement and what a dream that she's managed to bring to fruition.

    Oh blimey. No wonder you put the word friend in quotation marks. What a thing to say to you. Just because things weren't going their way, resorting to name calling seems very childish to me and I'm assuming this is somebody close to the same age as yourself who should know better.

    Talking is definitely a positive when things need discussing. Apart from the obvious regarding your marriage, do you think having had time to think about it, your husband has realised himself the financial implications? xx

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    1. I was so taken aback by the remark and obviously offended, you just have to realise some friendships come to a natural end. I think I've probably listened more than talked as my view hadn't changed. The holiday certainly put things into perspective and made him think, more from the medical perspective at circa €600 a month. I believe many of the Brits out there are just hoping they don't get ill!

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  4. Good to hear. Watching the pennies isn’t for everyone especially those that live in the moment and don’t prepare for the future. I have family who change a cushion, then change the whole room to match!

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    1. I think most of us can think of someone like that. As my father used to say 'I reckon they've got more money than sense' and I reckon he could be right. ;0)

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  5. What a wonderful post Tania, and I totally agree, we are careful with our money so we don't have to go without if we want something. Well done Kirrie. I am so pleased to hear your husband is coming to his senses. I hope everthing works out for you both. xx

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    1. Thank you, People are amazing creatures. Its amazing what we can do when we put our mind to it.

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  6. This is great news about your husband! So glad to hear it!

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  7. That was a mean remark for a friend to make. I hope you let them know that. I'm glad things are moving in a good direction otherwise. I enjoy your posts.

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    1. I just walked away because I knew there and then our friendship was over.

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  8. I am very happy to read that things are moving in a great direction.

    Penny pinching and being frugal are totalling different. What a horrible thing for your friend to have said.

    God bless.

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    1. Thanks Jackie. Unfortunately she said a lot more that can't be taken back.

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  9. So glad to read that hubby has had a change of heart. Maybe the time away, and I presume with the friends that wanted you to move over there, has made him think about all the implications other than sunshine and some things cheaper. I hope things continue to progress in the right direction for you.

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    1. Thanks Janice. Yes, I think it was certainly time to reflect on what it would be like. The rose tinted glasses are off.

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  10. I quite understand about cutting ties with friends that turn out not to be friends. It happened to me a few months ago. Someone I had known for over 16 years, suddenly decided to tell me what she really thought of me. I was shocked. There's no going back.

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    1. No there is no going back. Some friendships run their course and that's it.

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  11. It must have come as a terrible shock to have your so-called friend say something so unkind. I do hope you and your husband can work together to reach a compromise. X

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  12. We paid our mortgage off in 14 years by overpaying - a little at first and then more as salaries grew and interest rates fell. However, in retrospect I'm not sure it was the wisest plan. As their salaries grew, moved onwards and upwards buying bigger houses. Now at retirement age, they are downsizing and releasing cash which is funding a great retirement. Not an option for us.

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  13. Missed word...... 'As their salaries grew, friends'........etc

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    1. I think paying off your mortgage in
      14 years is a great achievement. Some people live in the same house all their lives, some move through various levels of housing. Ive been fortunate that I had a good job which helped all around. Hubby and I have also renovated properties, putting some of the profits into the next house. We also bought an off plan new build to rent out because I inherited some money and it was another pension pot. It's been rented out for over 6 years and may be sold shortly. I don't think there is a right or wrong way, just what suits you.

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  14. Thank goodness your husband came to his senses and your friend is no friend. That was wow blow and she should worry about herself.

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    1. Thanks Cheryl, I wouldn't dream of telling her what's wrong with her life, so I won't except that from her.

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  15. Glad to hear that Hubby's break gave him time to think about things and that you are still "sorting out the wood from the trees" I really hope all turns out well for you both.
    Some friendships are only for a season and it seems that that friendship had passed it's sell by date. Why is it that if you don't agree with some people, they resort to nasty comments and/or name calling. Surely they don't expect their bad, childish behaviour to change the other persons mind, or do they?

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    1. Thank you. It does make you wonder where these people's brains are. They think they can be rude, get personal and nasty, and you'll just suck it up. Then have the nerve to say they don't understand what they've done or why I don't want anything to do with them.

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  16. What a bloomin' cheek! You're better off without that 'friend'. We paid off our mortgage several years ago and the feeling was one of being pleased with ourselves, but also a 'relief' that we will always have a roof over our heads. Glad to hear your hubby has taken off his rose tinted specs :)

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    1. It is a great feeling when you own your bricks and mortar. We seem to be moving in the right direction minus the so called friend. ;0)

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  17. Pleased to hear your news ♥️

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